My Cave My View

A blubber-covered creature enjoying life on a beach. He has never fasted for moisture and has never seen a snow shovel in his entire life. Gary Torres photo.

Wearing a Speedo in Hawaii

By the time you read this, I will be in Hawaii on a sandy beach wearing my Speedo, drinking a cold Pepsi, and eating Doritos. I know I fasted and prayed with all you good people for enough snow that we could prosper in the land, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I am not a good person. I know that...

Health care professionals piece Gary guy back together. Courtesy cave drawing

Cold Pepsi served on hard ice

There I was thinking I was King Kong being retired and driving around in my tractor pushing snow and all that. Next thing I know I am in the hospital with blood squirting out of my arm. Shizz happens. But this isn’t about me, this is about the staff at the hospital that saved my life. They...

Make peace with God

The Clay Hills area is on the route that the Mormon settlers took as they migrated from Escalante to Bluff, Utah, in 1879. Go along Highway 276 from Halls Crossing about 15 miles to the east and you will encounter a mass of sliding clay; beautifully colored in greys, pinks, and reds depending on...

Diary of a snow shoveler

Day 1 – It started to snow. Hurray! I can’t remember being more excited. All the fasting and praying is finally starting to pay off. Okay, my idea of fasting is to not put sprinkles on my donut, but when you live in the desert, we must do hard things. 8:45 - I am so excited to shovel snow. I...

The Caveman develops a case of tractor envy, moving from a broom to articulated blades on a giant plow

With all this recent snow, we are going to need to discuss the size of your snow removal equipment. I wouldn’t normally want to talk about the size of your equipment; but with the quantity and weight of the snow, well…size matters. When I was in college we wuz so poor we couldn’t afford a shovel...

Herding Chickens

Well it seems like we are going to have to talk about what came first, the chicken or the egg. I bring this up because eggs are getting pretty expensive these days. I went to buy a dozen eggs and the clerk wanted to charge me $6.29. I said, “Excuse me miss, I think there must be some mistake.” ...

New Year’s Resolutions…or not!

It is the new year and I feel like I need to make some resolutions. Maybe I should just use last year’s since they would pretty much be the same; which as it turns out are pretty much the same as the last 40 years. Truthfully, I haven’t been able to mark any off my list. Sure, I have to change...

Parenting 2.0

Like most grandparents these days, we have had the opportunity for one of our kids and four grandkids to move back in with us for a short time. I call that Parenting 2.0. Of course, I am thrilled to have them for a short time. But suddenly we have found our house back into full blown chaos,...

A season to be happy

My too kind and loving wife said that it is the holiday season, and I should be happy. My first reaction was to say bah-humbug, mind your own business. There is a good deal of pressure in America to be happy. If you are not happy, then by golly you better get happy. If you must, go see a...

Communicating: Then and Now

“What we have here is a failure to communicate.” Some of life’s best advice comes from movies like Cool Hand Luke. I am in the communication business, but I am having a harder time understanding what people are saying to me and I don’t know if it’s my hearing or I am just getting dumber because I...