On the way to Tonga

By the time you read this I will be on my way to Tonga to serve a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 
I am not worried, although maybe I should be.  The island of Tongatapu which is where I will be stationed is about 6’ above sea level, which makes it susceptible to many natural hazards. 
Tonga is ranked second out of 181 countries in the World Risk Index because cyclones, floods, tsunamis, earthquakes and volcanos apparently are common.  And communication is sketchy at best and generally ranked acute.  So, I probably can’t call for help, yikes! 
On the bright side there are no snakes and only one type of centipede is considered poisonous and there are no critters that want to eat you.  And the people are very friendly, crime is low, and it is very affordable to live there.  So, there is that! 
I don’t know if I will be able to ever write to you and I know how rumors can fly in a small town so I thought I should let you know that I am not in jail…yet.  And that I didn’t die…yet.  
And my too kind and loving wife hasn’t killed me and stuffed me under a rock in San Juan County…yet. 
I love an adventure, but generally consider myself a dessert rat and enjoy the dry heat, scorpions, coyotes and red rock to almost anywhere else in the world.  
A shallow coral reef in the mist of ginormous ocean positioned on the ring-of-fire in the Pacific does seem a little dicey to me. 
I was going to write my obituary and expound on all my great attributes which would ensure its brevity.  But, I decided against that, because most San Juan Record readers would not wish a man dead, but they might read my obituary with great pleasure. 
At least in San Juan County we don’t usually have calamities, so we generally only have to worry about starvation because we always have a drought and harsh winters and there are no high paying tech-jobs.  
Most people work 2-3 jobs six days a week, go to church and pray like crazy for rain, raise a cow, grow a garden, and make stew with a dry bone and some dirt and assure our spouse that we are just about over the rough spell.
But, by golly when the zombies come, and my daughter assures me they will, we won’t be suffering the way those city slickers will. 
Heat and humidity may be a new twist for me; that will take some getting used to.  I have inquired about the food, apparently, tacos, Pepsi, steak, and potatoes are not on the menu.   
But if the Lord can provide manna from heaven to wandering Israelites for forty years, I can hope for a few bacon strips and some beef. 
It is of course a privilege to get to go serve a mission and I hope that I can be of some use to someone somewhere.  My too kind and loving has said, my work will not be to write stories with questionable grammar and that start nowhere, go nowhere, say nothing, are only half true and have no point, provide no insight, and are best used to line the kennel and potty train puppies.  She is so sweet. 
I get a little misty-eyed from all the dirt blowing and my allergies acting up when I think of leaving my San Juan County for any length of time.  Somehow, someway, someday we will find our way home.  Please keep the light on for us.  
P.S.   I will send a picture of us on the beach in January with a key to start my snow blower as it is the one thing my too kind and loving wife has not put in our suitcases.