Beware the Damn Farm Stories book

I love to spend as much time as I can on The Mountain. My husband loves it there too, but he is not as self-entertaining as I am. He gets restless and bored.

Isn’t that what leads to many folks having a tryst? I can take walks, do crosswords and other puzzles, read, ride my ATV, do handwork, and just sit and look at the beauty of the forest.

He is the Energizer Bunny and has to be “doing” something all the time. I like to read and am usually reading four or five books at one time. 

My spouse doesn’t read much. Not that he doesn’t enjoy it, but he gets sucked into a tome and doesn’t give it up until the book is finished. 

A medical condition required him to sit still for a couple of weeks – something he does not do well, ergo, he started the affair.

His youngest son had given him a book for Father’s Day (a book full of a pack of lies, by the way) so he picked it up and was immediately sucked in. He didn’t surface for nearly a week.

Where our son shook the bed with the wiggling from the giggling, in this latest case it was the whole camp trailer that was shaking from the readers laughter.

The air was spiced with such phases as: “Oh, I can just see those crazy people doing that” or “really, and they survived to tell about it!” Or just head shaking. 

After a week, the affair was concluded and the Energizer one returned to real life and fretting because he had so much work to do that wasn’t getting done. 

Now I’m the one trapped in a volume of damn farm stories and other lies. Well, hey, if a couple of my crazy, long time friends can pen memoirs that are somewhat true, I think I can too.

The guy from the cave and the farmer’s wife are my inspiration. Give me a pen, I’m penning my remembrances of a crazy life. Some of it may even be true.

(Stupid Damn Farm Stories, by Linda Lewis, is available at the San Juan Record.)