Packing mementos and memories in Tonga

As I am writing this, I am in Tonga starting to pack my bags. Eighteen months have gone by fast. 
I am leaving most of my clothes and a few assorted tools I purchased; I am packing a few small mementos and a suitcase of gratitude and wisdom.
When we got here, we committed to “say yes to opportunities to serve others”. 
Initially, I was content to say, “I will try and not be a bad person.” My too kind and loving wife thought I should have higher aspirations; something more positive like “I will be a good missionary.” 
After a few hours of negotiating, she insisted I say the words, “I will say yes to every opportunity to serve others.” 
“Boy Howdy!”  There was more opportunity than bananas.   
She has used this Jedi mind trick throughout our marriage and tells me I am happier because of it.  I know I am being manipulated, but I swear that I always think it was my idea by the time we are done talking.
There were things that I didn’t particularly want to do, but I did them anyway.  I learned that the more you complain the heavier the load. 
My mission companion says that I may not use complaining words, but it sounds like complaining.  “Sure, I would love to help you move your piano up three flights of stairs.  Can we do it now?” 
I wish I could say I had a sparkling halo on my head, and it was all glamorous spreading the “good news” everywhere and I went about pasting “Life is Good” stickers in clean public bathrooms. 
But most of it was hard work.  Inspiration was packed within perspiration.
When my kids were growing up, every parenting lecture I gave eventually ended when they rolled their eyes and I said, “Only a few things you need to remember in life… floss, say your prayers, read your scriptures, be nice to your mother, and compound interest works for you or against you.” 
I learned a few lessons here in Tonga that I am adding to my parenting lecture list.
Make every moment count but don’t count every moment.  Time is precious, but not more important than the person sitting next to you. 
Be diligent in your responsibilities but remember eventually you will have that last conversation with your mom or dad.  And you won’t have another first day of kindergarten or watch your senior graduate. 
So, make every moment count.  Eventually, we are in the fourth quarter of our lives.  Listen to the birds, smell the Fall air, feel the coolness, and love it all.  At some unknown time in your future the whistle will blow, and the game will be over.
You can find joy in serving others.  When you serve someone that cannot repay you, you gain just a glimpse of divine grace.  It’s a win-win for both parties.
We all need that friend that we can call no matter what happens in life.  If you don’t have that kind of a friend, be that kind of a friend.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Another way of saying that is there will be opposition in all things. 
When good is being advanced there are those that will criticize, scoff, and discourage.  When bad is being witnessed stand up for what you know is right and good.
Struggling is part of life.  We struggle when we come into this life, we have struggles during life and often some of our hardest struggles are end of life issues. 
Don’t wish it all away.  We develop strength we never knew we had and find how strong love can be.
Take care of your health early and consistently.  Your health lets you enjoy so many other blessings in life. 
You don’t have to run marathons, but you should eat responsibly most of the time and enjoy ice cream occasionally.  You should walk with a friend regularly but know the cathartic benefit is not from the walk.
Have one good laugh each day.  Read a joke, watch a funny clip.  A belly laugh is the best, but a chuckle will do. 
I have not mastered the Tongan sense of humor as they fall on the floor laughing when someone gets hurt by being uncoordinated or stupid; I excel at both. 
Often, I was a source of entertainment.  But they always picked me up and dusted me off and would say, “Maybe I do it. You sit here Elder.”
A good cry can be therapeutic so occasionally cry with a friend.  If you are the friend; you don’t have to solve the problem.  Your presence is all that is needed
Prayer works.  Tongans pray as easily, earnestly, and sincerely as if talking to a dear, trusted, wise friend.  I have witnessed it many times. 
Maybe I don’t pray as easily as they do, but I have had a few near misses so there have been times when I have been equally as earnest. 
There are at least two obstacles to my ability to pray.  I almost always want to do it my way and I have too much pride to ask for help.  I hope it gets easier because we all need a dear, trusted, wise friend.
You get more by giving.  I have no idea how this divine principle works but time after time I have seen it here in Tonga and certainly at home in San Juan County. 
I suppose it is like giving a present to someone you love.  You are just excited to buy it, excited to give it, and excited to watch them open it.  The joy you had was three times what the receiver experienced. 
Be grateful.  I started out by jotting down blessings in my life that I am truly thankful for.  I learned that happiness is not so much about getting everything you want but appreciating all that you have.
There.  I have loaded my suitcase full of good memories, my passport is ready, and I am headed back to red rock country (sounds like a radio station!) where I hope to die, preferably many years from now. 
I hope I have a long fourth quarter and I can share my parenting lecture list with my grandkids until they roll their eyes.