Overheard at Disneyland

By Sally Jack
Contributing Writer
Ah, Disneyland... “the happiest place on earth,” the place where men in Harley Davidson leather jackets are not embarrassed to be seen wearing Mickey Mouse ears; where little princesses hold onto their daddy’s hands while waiting to see their favorite Disney character, and daddies get their exercise by pushing strollers, pulling out wallets and carrying backpacks and babies; that magical place where grown-ups stand in line to sail through the stars in pirate ships charted for Neverland; where the outside world fades away while your faith in humanity, families, magic, and the world at large is restored; the place where everyone is a kid once again.
Waiting in line is all a part of the Disney experience, and I have found that—without any intent of eavesdropping (well, okay, maybe just a little) —a person can hear a lot of interesting and amusing comments while standing in such lines. Here are a few favorites from our recent trip to Disneyland:
*Determined mother through gritted teeth to a wailing child: “This is Disneyland! And you’re Going to have Fun!!!”
*Mother to her pre-teen sons while waiting to ride the Mad Hatter’s Spinning Teacups: “And if you get a pink teacup, you’ll just have to Deal with it!”
*Three-year-old explaining her behavior to her parents: “. . . and then he tripped me, so I hit him!”
*Eight-year-old boy after an exciting Star Wars ride: “Whoa! The drop on that ride is as tall as my Dad!!!”
*Child to father: “Hey Dad, those guys are wearing the same shirts!” Just then a man walked past them wearing a T-shirt that said: “I don’t do matching shirts.”
*Middle-aged man attempting to climb out of the monkey car of the Casey Jr. Train: “This might take me a minute. I can’t move as well as I used to.”
*Frustrated mom to naughty kids: “If you two don’t knock it off, I’m going to take you to the Tiki Room!” Horrified kids: “No! Not the Tiki Room! We’ll be good!”
*Young adult to friend: “Hey Dude, we’re in Disneyland. Let’s go get a couple of those turkey legs.”
*Young woman eyeing up the flight of stairs to the Autopia ride: “You mean we gotta go all the way up there?!”
*Dad to hesitant child: “Son, we’re going to go on that ride until you’re not scared of it anymore.”
*Question: “Where’s the end of this line?” Answer: “There isn’t one.”
*Man to woman: “My apologies ma’am. I didn’t mean to take off with your little girl. I thought she was my daughter.” With a shrug of his shoulders he added, “They both look like Minnie Mouse to me.”
*Mother of five with a sigh: “Before we came, I had no idea it was going to be so much work to have fun.”
*Wife to husband: “I just realized I haven’t taken any pictures all day.” Husband to wife: “So? Do you always hafta take pictures??” Wife to husband: “I don’t know. It just seems like I shoulda.”
*Teenage girl to teenage friend: “And then he told me I needed a pixie-dust upgrade, so I dumped him.”
*85 year-old-woman to 86 year-old husband who doesn’t want to stand in line for the Peter Pan ride: “Because I just know I would be sorry if I didn’t do this ride before we leave.”
*Kid to another kid: “Which ghost was riding on your lap when we came out of the Haunted Mansion?”
*Husband to wife: “We don’t gotta do King Arthur’s Carousel, do we?” Wife to husband: “No.” Husband: “Good! Then I’m crossing it off the list!”
*Anxious mother loudly whispering to her little girl: “Hurry and put on your princess shoes so you’ll be tall enough to go on this ride.”
*Woman trying to get into the cramped space ship on the Astro Orbiters ride: “How do I get into this thing? What do I gotta do?”
*The same woman after the Astro Orbiters ride: “How do I get outta this thing?”
*Every parent to every child as they pass every restroom on the way to the next ride: “Okay. Who needs to stop this time?”
*Worried child on the Indiana Jones ride: “I’m scared because I think I might’ve looked in the Forbidden Eye of Mara!”
*Mom to kids: “Asher, Stop it!” “Asher and Callen, No spitting!” “Asher, Stop!” “Callen, Quit it!”
*Mother to crying son: “See that little boy over there? He’s smiling. This is Fun!”
*Woman to her friend as a duck in the water flies away: “That duck looks so real. It’s hard to believe it’s mechanical.” Friend’s reply: “What are you talking about? That was a real duck.” Woman: “No, it can’t be. I heard that everything at Disneyland is created using animatronics.”
My nine-year-old grandson gave me this bit of advice at Mickey’s Runaway Railway: “If it scares you to go over the waterfall with Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Grandma, then turn around and watch the bubbles behind you until it’s over.”